The Nobody: Signet Regency Romance (InterMix) by Farr Diane

Author:Farr, Diane [Farr, Diane]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub, mobi
Publisher: Penguin Group
Published: 2012-08-14T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter XIII

For several days after the curricle accident, Caitlin stayed within doors and allowed Aunt Harriet and Emily to pamper her. Her thoughts were in such turmoil she found it difficult to concentrate and almost impossible to sleep, and her listlessness, together with the fairly spectacular bruises she had suffered in the curricle accident, made a sufficient excuse for her to avoid company. First Lord Kilverton, then Mr. Montague and Captain Talgarth, and finally even Sir Egbert sent round to enquire after her health. But it was Emily who appeared downstairs to reply to their kind messages. Caitlin hid in her chamber.

It was most unlike her, but Caitlin had never been so wretchedly unhappy in her life.

She knew it had little or nothing to do with her physical discomfort. It had everything to do with Richard Kilverton. Before he entered her life, she had been tranquilly happy, content with her lot, and enjoying her London holiday. Now she hardly recognized the pale and stormy creature reflected in her mirror.

It was appalling—indeed, it was shocking!—to find herself obsessed with thoughts of a man who was betrothed to another. That went so deeply against her moral code, she never would have believed it possible such a calamity could occur. She was afraid to go among people for fear she would meet him; she was unable to sleep for reliving every conversation she had ever had with him; and she bathed her pillow each night with hot tears, longing for impossible things. Caitlin was furious with herself, distressed by her own waywardness, determined to stop these insane feelings—and terrified that she might feel this way forever.

She was sorely in need of advice, but there was not a soul in whom she could confide. If Caitlin herself was ashamed and confused, she feared Emily would be even more shocked and uncomprehending. Her only other confidante was Lady Serena—and how impossible it would be to tell Serena!

She had heard it said that a green girl invariably fell in love with the man who gave her her first kiss. Well, there could hardly be found a greener girl than herself. Her experience of such matters was less than limited, it was nil. She wondered miserably if that absurd encounter in Curzon Street could really be counted as a kiss. She had nothing to compare it to. She devoutly hoped (however unlikely it seemed to her) that what she felt was, perhaps, just a silly infatuation that would pass as quickly as it came. She had no idea if what she felt was likely to prove lasting. In fact, she was not even sure what it was she felt. Agitation, surely, and melancholy; a strange, terrified exhilaration; and a great deal of misery. The term “lovesick” took on a new meaning for Caitlin—as near as she could tell, what she was experiencing had all the symptoms of malaria!

It would be terrible to see him too soon, before she could command herself. On the other hand, she thought feverishly, perhaps the sooner she saw him the better it might be for her.

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